28th and 29th June 2017, at S.S. Great Britain, Bristol, England

Only 100 seats ...

... Presented by me (Drayton Bird) and featuring Trevor 'Toe-Cracker' Crook. Why should you be there?
"Drayton Bird knows more about Direct Marketing than anyone in the world ... His talks are highly instructive and hilariously funny"
- David Ogilvy
See what Clayton Makepeace, Ken McCarthy, Steve Harrison, Perry Marshall, Ian Brodie, Gary Bencivenga, Andy Owen and Brian Kurtz - all famous, brilliant copywriters and marketers themselves - say about me:

Here's what these two days will give you:

Direct Marketing defined - where it fits into business and why you need to understand it.

Why most marketing is totally stupid - shocking global research revelations

The only three questions your customers give a hoot about. (Few marketers even try to answer them - so fortunes are pissed away)

How to be a complete marketer: 12 marketing disciplines you should understand: most businesses struggle with just one.

Upside down marketing lunacy: why people persist in getting things in the wrong order.

The Absolute Essentials of Creative.

How to: ... with lots of ideas to steal.

15 things I did to make a million or two - starting from minus zero

My partners and I were stony broke. I owed so much I was using a false name. In under four years we were the UK's biggest direct marketing agency. In exactly seven years eleven months I sold to Ogilvy and Mather. Then ...

... my life with Ogilvy

The secret he told me at Claridges - The day we made a video - The Ogilvy approach to Christmas - When I asked about his mistakes - The fateful phone call - The garden party - "I may not be a great lover but ..." - His fear of Leo Burnett ... and what he said to Hallmark cards - Selling ads in Helena Rubinstein's bedroom - "Your beautiful car" - What he said about Martin Sorrell - The scent of a whore's boudoir - My mistake, said he - Rosser Reeves' Dirty trick - "What do you actually do, Drayton?"

I've read enough Drayton ...
I want to click here and book NOW

Why do people fly from as far away as Australia, not once, but repeatedly to see me?

For 57 years, I've successfully helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig.

Not forgetting insurance, hotels in Paris, machinery for filling pork pies, online legal services and Mercedes cars.

And worked in 55 countries with many of the world's leading brands.

People like American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestlé, Philips, Procter & Gamble, The Royal Mail, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volswagen.

I've worked with four of the top five ad agencies.

My book - Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing - out in 17 languages, has been the UK's best seller on the subject every year since 1982.

In 2003 The Chartered Institute of Marketing named me one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today's marketing.

The leading UK magazine 'Campaign' called me 'the only universally acknowledged point of creativity in the direct marketing world'.

I was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group ... a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation ...

.. one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing ...

...one of the first three people named to the Direct Marketing Association of India's Hall of Fame.

I've also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

Gary Bencivenga, widely regarded before his retirement as the world's best direct marketing copywriter said:
"Your books are among my most valued possessions and easily among the greatest ever written on advertising, right up there with those by Caples, Ogilvy, Schwab, Reeves and Hopkins"
The world's most successful copywriter after Gary retired is Clayton Makepeace. He made as much as $6 million a year. After talking to me he said:
"Triggered so many great ideas and confirmed so many closely held beliefs of mine, well, believe it or not, words fail ..."
And Sir Martin Sorrell - Founder of WPP (the world's biggest advertising and marketing group) said:
"Drayton Bird is a wise and wily direct marketer. People all over the world have been lucky enough to learn from him."
Now watch what Pam Duncan from Australia has to say:


16 Sizzling Toe-Cracker Revelations

"If his advice doesn't pay for the whole two days, I'll eat my hat" - Drayton

1. How to come up with unique copy angles that leave your competition feeling like they're a one-legged duck swimming in a crocodile infested creek.

2. How adding just one single letter to a word increased response a whopping 300%

3. Why you may as well brand your own arse when it comes to your logo and branding.

4. Discover how to banish writer's block once and for all. Go from 'reverse gear to fifth gear' in no time - and watch your blank piece of paper overflow with copy before your eyes. WARNING: 90% of the room will be in tears during this exercise.

5. Discover the proven techniques for writing bullets so hot your reader will get indigestion at lunch and insomnia at night until they own your product or try your service.

6. 37 writing templates all set for you to use immediately.

7. The secret of how you add perceived value to close tough sales.

Trevor 'Toe-Cracker' Crook

Trevor has been called the Crocodile Dundee of direct response copywriters due to giving his global clients the biggest advertising knife

- so they can slash their competitors in half.

He is a world class, direct response copywriter ... mentor to entrepreneurs, writers and business owners ...

... author ... international speaker.

Trevor helps business owners and entrepreneurs to ignite their sales and profits fast - using sizzling sales copy online and off-line.

He has written sales copy for 2 people from the very success life changing movie The Secret.

Trevor is blunt, brutal and does not sugar coat anything for anyone.

He has the uncanny ability to deliver cash generating information to you in a simple, straight between the eyes way in a matter of minutes
- he'll have you glued to your seat.
Trevor has personally interviewed over 7,000 business owners and entrepreneurs ... dealt with over 300 industries ...

... and spoken to audiences all over the world in America, London, Canada, Australia and the U.K.
"WARNING! Don't hire Trevor Toe-Cracker Crook unless you're prepared to be the leader in your market."

- Bond Halbert, son of the legendary Prince of Print, Gary Halbert
A simple one page letter which cost his client $1,650 in advertising, generated approximately $200,000 the very first time he used it.

For another client, a 2 page letter generated $4.0 million.

One website client, increased sales $2.159 million p.a. in 30 days after a 20 minute Coaching call and website critique with Trevor.

Another increased conversions 800% from adding just one 4 letter word to his headline.

His breakthrough advertising strategies show you how you can add just one letter, one word or make just one small change to your existing marketing
- to double, triple or quadruple your response, without increasing your advertising and marketing costs.
Business owners and entrepreneurs who have applied Trevor's strategies increased their responses up to 1700%.

8. What you can learn from Lard-Ass the Greek grocer, Danny's Italian Restaurant, the Florist and the Pool Shop.

9. Two blockbusters! The Valentine's Day and Every Sunday is Mother's day DM campaigns.

10. The strange tale of the $2 burger.

11. How to "frame" clients so they really have no choice but to do what you want.

12. Discover the Dynamite Detonator Switches which let you to climb inside your prospect's head as if you were reading their mind, forcing them to whip out their credit cards and order immediately.

13. Why 98.3% of business owners and entrepreneurs suffer from HUA disease (Head Up Arse) and how it's costing them sales needlessly.

14. REVEALED: The 8 bad words which cause sales suicide.

15. Trevor's direct mail campaign that had women driving 300 km's for a shoe sale.

16. The 2-page letter that generated $4 million.

I've read enough Drayton ...
I want to click here and book NOW


Take a look what other people say about my seminars:

Welcome to Mooncalf Country - a piss-take on marketing folly and what it leads to.

How are your emails doing? Most marketers haven't got a clue - what to do, what not to do, lots of examples. Why they're not free - with reams of practical suggestions.

Which worked best? Axel Anderson who built up the Linguaphone business confessed that after hundreds of tests he couldn't predict what would work. Can you? Let's test your ability!

Where most websites fail - the silly mistakes that kill responses and sales. The difference between a website and a landing page and why you should understand it.

This mailing ran for 8 years unbeaten - the devious trick we used to create it. What made it work. How an idiot canned it and ruined the company, and how to avoid such folly.

What Maya's French Bulldog can teach you - the power of Incentives - which work and why, how to sell them with practical advice based on the world's most effective mailing.

Brand Bullshit - what you really need to know about brands - with Prof Andrew Ehrenberg's discoveries ... which most marketers are totally ignorant of.

Now is the Winter of my Discontent - all about Fads, follies and foolish fashions I have seen and still see in marketing.

The new marketing director syndrome - how it kills businesses and careers... with a suicide tragedy.

Secrets of a triple Grammy Award Winner - what you can learn about managing talent.

Which videos work, which don't - and why. Advice from the man who made thousands of TV ads which applies to videos.

Power words that seize attention - and make money.

The AIDCA formula for good creative analysed. I've followed this for nigh on 60 years, yet far too many ignore one of the essential steps. Here's why it works.

Should you and your colleagues be at my last-ever 2 day event?

Ask these people:


16 More Toe-Cracker Cash Grabbers

(Ring the office and put them to work even before you leave)

17. How a verbal arse-kicking resulted in a client generating over $200,000 in 3 weeks from a 1 page broadcast fax.

18. The direct mail campaign to the rich which had them paying $250,000 for the service before they even tried it.

19. The 3-headline test . . . all very similar . . . which saw one headline slaughter another by 500% and the winning headline do even better. See the exact result revealed live.

20. REVEALED: Trevor's 10-minute tweak to a postcard while rushing to the airport which saw sales jump from $20,000 one week to $76,400 the next.

21. The ad that had a real estate agent shitting bricks, afraid to test it ... yet generated 11 inspections and 4 people going to contract on day one. The agent had no choice than to eat humble pie.

22. How to never compete on price ever again. Trevor reveals the simple strategy he used to go from giving a 'free quote' . . . to charging $3,000 for the same thing 4 weeks later. He's since modeled this for many campaigns for his clients with astounding success.

23. What the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) can teach you about marketing and closing sales.

24. How to use GRABBERS to double the response of every letter you mail. Discover what grabbers to use, how to build a story around each one, plus why using them doubles the response of every promotion you run.

25. How to ethically swipe the very successful 'Wall Street Journal' letter. Knock this one off yourself and see just how good it is.

26. Discover 8 different types of headlines and how to use them in your business.

27. At least 12 rules to follow when writing headlines. The difference between a good headline and a bad headline is the difference between SUCCESS and FAILURE.

28. Get a 9 point check-list to use when evaluating your headlines. (On average, five times as many people read the headline as read the body copy. If you haven't done some selling in your headline, you just wasted 80% of your money).

29. Trevor reveals the kind of Direct mail copy which has pulled 8%, 9.4%, 10%, 18% or better response . . . just from letter one.

30. REVEALED: How Trevor channelled Robert Collier's damaged Stock letter to sell a digital product - and how you can do the same.

31. Why you MUST walk around with your eyes and ears wide open . . . everyday there's things happening around you which you can use to create content, generate leads and sales.

32. The sad tale about Granny's chocolate cake tasting like crap - and how this relates to you.

I've read enough Drayton ...
I want to click here and book NOW


From ghastly and costly experience:

Still not quite sure you should come?

Please don't take my word for it. Read what others say:

"That was great - everyone was really buzzed up when we left ... 48 hours later I got two good pieces of copy from people who'd never written before in their lives"

- Rowan Gormley, Co-Founder, Virgin Money, Virgin Wines, Naked Wines and CEO Majestic Wines

"One hundred percent of delegates said they would recommend it to their colleagues"

- Lisa Drapkin, American Express HQ, New York

"Drayton Bird doesn't teach, he inspires you. One day with him is worth a month with most other professionals"

- Rod Pullen, Managing Director, Batey Advertising Singapore

"I learnt more in half an hour of Drayton Bird than on the 6-day marketing course I attended"

- Senior Marketing Manager, Xerox (UK)

"One delegate put Drayton Bird's ideas into practice and in one week the responses increased by 25 percent"

- Robert Howells, Director, Marketing Systems, IBIS information Services

"Our clients in Asia line up to hear him speak. Others fly him to exotic places to speak for an hour at a marketing meeting"

- Godfrey Rooke, Managing Director, O&M Direct Hong Kong

"If your business at all relies on direct marketing, grab Drayton Bird's seminar notes, do exactly what he says, and watch the promotions work... then secretly delight as people call you the expert"

- Carl Daikeler, President Beachbody (a leading DRTV firm)

"In 2 days, I found answers to a year's worth of problems"

- Monica Yip, Chase Manhattan Bank, Hong Kong

I've read enough Drayton ...
I want to click here and book NOW

Your nine FREE bonuses worth £2,662.23

1. How to Write Sales Letters That Sell - Described by Bob Bly, America's Number One Copywriter (McGraw-Hill) as "the very best book on the subject, and I've read them all."

Your copy will be the new edition which includes a 56 page chapter on emails.

And is personally signed by me.

2. The Very Best of EADIM - For 5 years I ran the European Academy of Direct & Interactive Marketing in London.

People flew from all over the world to attend it and kept coming back.

This is a selection of the very best presentations from all five of those years.

They include: ... and - of course - me.

This bonus alone is worth the price of the entire two day event.

3. Me and Andy Bounds at Churchill's War Rooms - A one day seminar held where Churchill plotted Britain's victories against overwhelming odds.

This video will show you "how to get more leads - and convert more of them in to high paying business".

4. Me and Clayton Makepeace - This interview with Clayton, at that time the world's highest paid copywriter, will give you lots of things to think about and lots of things to act upon. Plus it will make you laugh.

5. How to Write (and Persuade) Better - This 3 hour seminar will probably improve your writing faster than anything else you can get.

6. 31 Insider Ploys - Practical, simple things you can do to improve your business, which most people are completely unaware of.

7. Six issues of Trevor 'Toe-Cracker' Crook's Unlimted Success Report - Each 20+ page issue is:

"For business owners and entrepreneurs who can handle the truth, who want no bullshit, real-world marketing and advice which gets results ...

"... not some limp-wristed, wet lettuce, watered-down pig swill, from some Armani suited Maddison Avenue Advertising tosser who has never run a successful business"

8. Judgement Day - The ultimate direct response advertising & marketing toolkit. 5 hours of audios from Trevor 'Toe-Cracker' Crook's one day seminar.

It could just change your life - like it did for Everte Farnell who generated an extra $100,000 in net profit in one month from just one strategy Trevor revealed.

9. Free access to SS Great Britain on both days - This extraordinary ship was the first propeller driven liver to cross the Atlantic.

It really is fascinating to see.

This may not be the biggest bonus you're going to get but I guarantee it will be one of the most enjoyable.

How much for a lifetime's tested and proven knowledge?

Today I'm going to make you an offer that - quite frankly - you'd be foolish to turn down.

But before I say what a great deal I'm giving you, let me tell you about your no-nonsense, 100% money back guarantee:
If - by the first coffee break on day one - you're not absolutely convinced the seminar is worth ten times what you paid, I'll happily refund all your money - no questions asked.
I've offered the same guarantee on all my seminars for years now - nobody has ever claimed on it.

This seminar really is my last hurrah. At nearly 81 I'm too long in the tooth to keep doing these.

So I decided to make this final one very special for you.

And this is why:

Everything I know about marketing is crammed into the two days we'll spend together.

One of the very best copywriters and marketers I know will be joining us.

... all for your small investment of only £1,597*

And don't forget you also get £2,662.23 worth of FREE bonuses.

You're welcome to bring your colleagues too - each seat for them is a mere £997* extra.

You could come to the seminar, then sell the bonuses on eBay - bagging a healthy £1065.23 profit.

Or come with a colleague (for an extra £997) ... both sell your bonuses ... and share a tidy £2,730.46 - that's £1,365.23 each.

I'm joking of course, but you have to agree it's a steal of a deal.


If you want to secure your place, you must act now.

There's no need to pay in full right away ... grab your seat with a £150 (non-refundable) deposit and we'll be in touch.

All we ask is the balance is paid in full before the end of May.

Click on the button below to secure your seat(s):

But BEFORE you reserve your place ...

I have a very special, extremely limited, once in a lifetime opportunity for you:

Once in a lifetime is an overused phrase
- one I regularly scream at people for writing.
But in this case it's perfectly valid.

Here's why - and two reasons why you should grab your Golden Ticket right now:

1. Dinner with Trevor & me

2. Extra, exclusive bonuses worth a thumping £5,985.17
Now let me tell you all about them ...

Dinner with Trevor & me

I have had LOTS of excellent dinners, washed down with excellent wine, told lots of funny stories - and given lots of advice in the process.

At the end of the seminar's final day, I'm taking Trevor out to dinner - at my favourite restaurant here in Bristol.

I'll be taking everyone who has a Golden Ticket too.

It's going to be a blast: a fun, informal evening full of chat and laughter
- just the way I like it.
But there'll be plenty of time to talk about your business ... copywriting ... marketing ... my classic, howling cock ups ... and everything in between.
And - of course - I'll be footing the bill.
Just please don't tell my FD, Michael 'The Shark' Carpenter this last bit.

Extra, exclusive bonuses worth a thumping £5,985.17

Trevor and I have already promised everyone nine bonuses worth a whopping £2,662.23.

But for our Golden Ticket holder's that's quite simply not enough.

So as well as every bonus you've already read about, Trevor will also give you:
  • One full copy critique - Let Trevor rip into your copy and make notes ... before he gives you a call on Skype.
But that's not all ...

I'm also throwing in:
  • A half hour mentoring session with me.

  • The Complete EADIM - Every single presentation from every European Academy of Direct and Interactive Marketing event I ran.

    You won't find presentations from most of these people anywhere else. That's because many simply don't normally teach.

    To be honest, I called in a few favours to get them to appear. When you've seen them for yourself you'll be glad I did.

    Here's just five of the people you'll learn from:

    • Martin Chillcott - An expert in customer retention. Has led the development of successful customer strategy for Alton Towers, Travelbag, Paul Smith and Vision Express opticians.

    • Mike Marshall - A search marketing expert hired by companies such as AOL, Sony and even the U.S. Patent office. People often wonder which mentors the experts go to for advice to stay ahead of their competition. Mike was one of those mentors.

    • Brian Thomas - Former Chairman of Saatchi & Saatchi Direct and Managing Director of Ogilvy & Mather Direct, Teacher of the Year for the Institute of Direct Marketing. Knows more about the practicalities of the marketing business than anyone else.

    • Bill Fryer - Generated a 75% positive response for a mailing for the National Trust. Manages £2,000,000 of advertising spend each year (across all media). Has generated about £160 million for his clients - including £70 million of charitable income

    • James Hammond - 'The Brand Doctor'. A respected brand consultant with over 27 years experience, he has worked with numerous blue-chip organisations including Yellow Pages, Virgin, Aviva, Honda, OFSTED and EMI.

You'll be staggered how little this once in a lifetime opportunity costs.

If you want to come to the seminar with a Golden Ticket, it only costs £647 more than the regular price.

Your Golden Ticket is an utter steal at only £2,244*.

If you come with a Golden Ticket, you can bring a colleague with you as a Golden Ticket holder too - for just £1,644* extra.

And again, as with the normal seats, you don't have to pay in full today:

Reserve your Golden Ticket(s) now with a £500 (non-refundable) deposit.

(The balance needs to be paid in full before the end of May.)

So what's it to be?

Whichever you choose, I look forward to seeing you in June.



*Please note: All prices exclude UK VAT at 20%

Because this seminar is in the UK, we have to charge you VAT - wherever in the world you are.