"You might think, 'Oh this man Bird's excellent' - I'm a complete t*@t! I've made every mistake you can make."

Do you make mistakes?

I've made some whoppers in my time I can tell you.

Like the 7 years I spent living under a false name to avoid the tax man.

Why? Because I engaged in the height of folly, which is to:

"Imagine everything will be OK. Assume something will go wrong; it usually does"

I'd stupidly registered all of my companies under one name. So when one went spectacularly belly up it dragged all the others down with it.

Including one that was a total cash cow - it had a 7 year lease on 100 New Bond Street.

Then there was the time I lost my shirt spending my entire advertising budget on just one publication.

The UK Newspaper 'The Sun' was getting enquiries hand over fist. Outperforming every other daily by a country mile.

Anther dumb thing to avoid:

"Never assume all enquiries are the same."

The Sun might have been getting me loads more but they weren't converting into sales nearly as well as some of the others. That business went broke in six weeks.

Of course I still make mistakes - like you I'm only human. But at least now I usually spot them.

I'd like you to learn from my catastrophes, howlers and near misses too. Knowing them now could save your business one day

And if you watch 'Drayton Bird Live (and Uncensored) at the MMC' you will.

Let me tell you more about it...

"The mariner to sail with is he who has been shipwrecked, for he knows where the reefs are" - Daniel Defoe.

A couple of months ago the Royal Mail asked if I'd give a talk at their Mail Media Centre.

I was happy about the whole thing until I found out who would be listening to me. Just 150 of the UK's best marketing people from the world's top marketing agencies. Firms like the one I used to help to run: Ogilvy One and their rivals, Wunderman International.

There was no way I could just talk about writing copy and direct marketing. I had to think of something else. A brand new talk.

But before I tell you anything else here's what two of the audience thought about it.

First Steve Harrison, founder of Harrison Troughton and Wunderman - Steve has won more UK DMA awards than any creative director in London and more Cannes Lions Direct awards than any creative director in the world:

"Well that was exactly the kind of stuff that Drayton impressed upon me and handful of other creative people who've gone onto good things 25 years ago.

"The thing that struck me is it's as valid now and important now as it was then.

"The only difference is that 25 years ago Drayton scared the s**t out of me. He's a lot funnier and more charming now."

And here's what Emma de la Fosse the Executive Creative Director at OgilvyOne had to say:

"A lot of what he says is common sense.

"But common sense is often the first thing that we forget when working in the sometimes foolish world of marketing and advertising so thanks, Drayton. I've had a very enlightening evening."

"I'll be inviting Drayton in to speak to the entire agency."

In my 50+ years in this business, the chasms I've fallen into - and the abysses I've (narrowly) avoided - have shown me how you do it wrong.

Most people tell you what to do, but believe me, telling you what not to do will be a lot more help. So I made a list of 20 dumb things I see a lot.

Pretty soon 20 became 47. Then 64, 92, 123 and finally 149.

Tell me more

What I ended up with - what you will see and hear for yourself - is 1 hour, 28 minutes on 149 ways guaranteed to ruin your business.

The things you simply must not do include:

• Ignoring the lessons of the past. Why do people assume they didn't know as much 100 years ago? Education was certainly more demanding.


• Having too many meetings. They are all a waste of time, there for idle people to fill up their time.


• Falling for the latest fad. Marketers are suckers for the silver bullet. CRM, SEO, PPC, SMS, Social Media - they always think some new thing will substitute for the need to think.


• Believing anyone who says they can make you rich. They are almost all liars - especially on the internet.


• Assuming your prospect is intelligent. Very few are; and even they are not thinking when they get marketing messages. Why should they?


• Assuming your prospect is stupid. They may not be brilliant, but they are not halfwits either, and resent being patronised.


• Failing to test. Perhaps the biggest and most common mistake around. Nobody has any idea what will work. Why guess when you can know?


• Failing to invest in your staff. They are the only ones who can make it happen for you. Train them. Be nice to them.


• Spending more energy imagination and money on prospects than customers. Madness. Your best source of profit is the customer you've got, not the one you want.


• Believing human nature is altered by media or changing times. Human nature has not changed since men started walking upright.


• Not trying to be a customer. As Jack Welch remarked, most people have their heads facing the chairman and their asses facing the customers.

And 138 more absolute no-no's on top of those. Any one guaranteed to screw up your business.

In only 88 minutes you will know everything you shouldn't do if you want to keep your business afloat.

You won't just learn how to not rock the boat though. You'll know how to achieve maximum profits, happy staff and very satisfied customers.

Customers that come back to you to spend their money time and time again.

Have you ever seen Sesame Street?

The famous American television programme for pre-school children is over 40 years old, seen in over 140 countries and is still growing strong.

Why?

Because it mixes top-notch teaching with fun.

While they're enjoying themselves, the watching children are learning all the time and without any effort - not even realising that they're learning.

'Drayton Bird Live (and Uncensored) at the MMC' is a bit like Sesame Street.

Only - of course - without Cookie Monster, Bert, Ernie, Elmo and the other well loved characters. And there are no songs, cartoons, or rhymes in it either.

But like the kids watching Sesame Street you'll have fun learning. The audience certainly laughed pretty much all the way through.

It's the perfect antidote for those all too common, mind numbingly dull seminars someone's always trying to peddle you.

No note taking required - unless you want to of course - just 1 hour 28 minutes of my mishaps, misfortunes, trials & tribulations and how you can avoid them.

"Let's burn that bridge when we come to it"

When you watch 'Drayton Bird Live (and Uncensored) at the MMC' you'll hopefully laugh - and certainly learn - from:

• The man I had to sack - twice. He's the one who came out with that bridge-burning gem.


• The 40 people in any organisation that can say 'no' and the only 1 that can say yes. The trouble is he / she is always in a meeting.


• My terrible habit and why it makes me a s**t.

And plenty more besides.

Are you easily offended?

I won't beat about the bush.

At times my language can be - well - colourful.

Your no-holds-barred run down of the 149 things you really shouldn't do can, at times, be matched by my no-holds-barred language.

It really is live and uncensored.

So if you're put off by swearing, or offended by expletives then this video really isn't for you.

And you shouldn't buy it.

Yes, I'd rather not send you a copy if it's going to upset, affront, or aggrieve you.

But you and I are grown-ups though - aren't we?

I'm sure you can watch 'Drayton Bird Live (and Uncensored) at the MMC' without a sense of moral outrage. You can, can't you?

If that's you - and I'm almost certain it is - then you must get a copy.

Here's the deal

You couldn't just turn up at the MMC to hear me speak. You had to have been invited.

But you can benefit from my calamities and cock ups by having your own copy of 'Drayton Bird Live (and Uncensored) at the MMC'.

It won't cost you half a century of headaches and several lost fortunes either.

No, to learn what life's taught me the hard way will cost you just £67 (plus VAT where applicable and delivery).

If it saves you from only one day of misery you'll agree it's money very well spent.

And as with all my products 'Drayton Bird Live (and Uncensored) at the MMC' is covered by my usual, no-nonsense, 100% money back guarantee.

If within 60 days you're not completely happy I'll happily refund your money - no questions asked.

Are you comfortable with stress?

Which would you prefer. A life of stress, or a stress free life?

I know what I'd choose.

If I had my time again and wanted to know what I know now I'd snap this up.

You should too. Why not do it now before you get distracted?

You never know where the next disaster might come from. Believe me I've lived through enough of them.

Please choose your location

UK £86.39 GBP Europe £88.39 GBP Rest of World £76.99 GBP

Best,

Drayton

PS. The wisest £67 you ever spend? Compared to what you could lose I certainly think so.

PPS. Don't forget you're covered by my cast iron guarantee. You're not risking anything buying 'Drayton Bird Live (and Uncensored) at the MMC'. But you could risk everything if you don't...